Moving Forward
by StoryDiva
Summary: Set weeks after the climate has shifted and they've been rescued from NYC, Sam Hall battles with guilt all the while embracing a romance with Laura.


**Title: **Moving Forward

**Archive:** It'll be at yuletide and my website. Ask otherwise.

**A/N: **Thanks to sdlucly for reading it over and helping me out. She rocks! This was written as a pinch-hit for the yuletide challenge for paranoidkitten. Feedback always appreciated.

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Three weeks after the glacial storm took out most of the Northern Hemisphere, Sam Hall was surprised not only to find himself glistening under the early afternoon sun, but to have a grin plastered on his face. Considering everything that he had survived, _that the world_ had gone through the month before, it almost seemed wrong somehow. He was still there, still capable of things like happiness and shared moments with his parents and his friends.

Sam knew that other people weren't as lucky; many were lost in the big freeze and even more were mourning loved ones that hadn't survived the storms, floods and god knows what else (like starved wolves on a frozen boat?). His father was one of them. His father's best friend had died helping his dad get to him. Sam couldn't help but feel a little guilty about a death that he caused, whether inadvertently or not. An exchange of lives carried a great weight and he wasn't sure he was worthy of it.

Of course, he was glad to be alive. He'd only lived seventeen years. He was just coming into his own, discovering the way the world (albeit a new one now) worked, and it was only in the past few weeks that he had even begun to feel like he had a grip on living. He had discovered love, somehow kept his head together long enough to save a few people during the storms, and managed to fix his relationship with his dad, something he'd almost forgotten he depended on. Their relationship, like so many other things, had been tainted over the by pressing engagements and lack of interest on both their parts.

It was different now. It was as though, with all the snow and flooding, the clutter and static had been wiped away. Everything became clear - the things that were important and those that weren't. Sam was one of the lucky ones. He was lucky because he had survived something that seemed almost impossible as it was occurring. Sam was there to live another day. Laura, Brian, and J.D. were safe too and telling bad jokes while they drank coffee around a table in Mexico. God or whatever higher being had gotten his and his friends' families to safety. An almost improbable feat, he realized as he watched others receive devastating news - reminding Sam that there were losses, sure, but there were also miracles.

Sam tried not to think about the horrors, to focus on the positive (god, when did he start sounding like a Dr. Phil audiotape?) and start anew. Some days it was easier than others, like that moment surrounded by his friends and really bad jokes while Laura squeezed his leg under the table, and other days the loss was so great that he almost couldn't move.

What ever happened to all those people that refused to listen to him in the library that afternoon? Why hadn't he insisted they stay? Why hadn't he tried harder to save them? When it had come to Laura, when her leg got infected and he was scared she was going to die, he had risked everything. He had ignored logic in favor of following his gut instinct to protect her. Sometimes Sam thought that maybe if he had felt a sliver of those feelings for the people in the library that day, his father would've stumbled upon more survivors.

"You can't do that to yourself, Sam," Laura said later as he walked her back to the tent her family was using. She leaned her head on his shoulder and said, "You couldn't make those people in the library listen to you. You tried."

"I could've tried harder. I could've done _something_," he argued. He knew she was right, she usually was, but it felt good to expel those thoughts. Maybe then the nightmares would stop and he wouldn't have to convince his father every morning that he was "okay."

Because he really was...and maybe that was what bothered him most.

As if reading his mind, "Sam Hall, you're terribly egotistical, you know?"

"Huh?"

"You're so damn smart, so damn important, that surely you are the only one to blame for everything that happened."

"That's not what I was--" She stopped him with a kiss. He grinned against the taste of her and whispered, "That's not fair."

"Oh? You mean using your obvious lust for me to shut you up?"

"Yeah," he replied, kissing her again.

She pushed him back and said, "You did what you could. You did _more_ than you could. There were people that listened to you that day in the library, people that might not have survived if you hadn't stepped up."

"But--"

"You saved my life, going out in that storm, and you saved J.D.'s life on that ship. You have nothing to feel bad about, Sam. You did everything you could. You're one of the good guys."

He smiled. "Am I?"

She nodded and said, "I've always known that about you."

He tugged on her coat and asked, "What else have you known about me?"

"That you're terribly aware of how smart you are, way too arrogant and cynical for your own good, and you've got the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen," she replied, counting off on her fingers as she listed the information. Her cheeks flushed as she made the final admission but she met Sam's gaze with an unflappable one of her own. "That's about it."

Sam tried not to appear flattered or amused by her statement. It was harder than it looked as he forced a shrug and said, "So I wasn't the only one pining, I see."

"There was no pining on my part. I said you had nice eyes--"

"I believe it was actually _the most gorgeous eyes you'd ever seen_," he corrected with a grin.

Laura slapped him lightly against his chest. She glanced around the area and said quietly, "Okay, so maybe there was some acknowledgement on my part, but no pining. You did the pining."

"Did I?"

"Uh-huh."

He nodded and said, "Well, you were worth the pining."

Sam leaned in closer, allowing her breath to sting his cheeks, but before he could initiate anything further, a voice called out from behind them, "Mush alert!"

Sam groaned and Laura giggled as both J.D. and Brian appeared from around a corner and joined the two of them. Sam made a mental note to have a conversation with them about bad timing and the meaning of privacy.

J.D. draped his arm over Sam's shoulder and said, "Are we interrupting?"

"It's probably a good thing we did," Brian stated. He glanced between Sam and Laura and said, "Civilization is at a critical turning point and no one needs to witness the rebirth of cutesy romance. Please, spare all of us."

The guys, including Sam, laughed and Laura commented, "Very funny." She started to walk off and said, "I'll see you later, Sam. Boys."

Sam waved and, once she was gone from his sight, he said, "I think I'm in trouble."

Brian nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Girls apparently like mush."

"What's wrong with the two of you? And how the hell did you ever survive before we became friends?" J.D. wondered aloud. He whispered, "They _love_ mush. It's the only thing that keeps them from killing us and living like one of those ancient Amazon clans."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You're disturbed."

"No, it's true, man. Trust me. I owe you one for saving my life. I wouldn't lead you astray on this. Bring the mush. Bring the mush in buckets. Say things like, I'd die without you' and you complete me.' Girls go crazy for that shit," J.D. replied.

Brian laughed and Sam waved him off. He said, "I think I can manage on my own, but thanks for the offer."

"Just watching your back, man."

"And I appreciate it, but I'll be okay," Sam replied. He walked off in the same direction Laura had gone. He only moved a few hundred yards when two arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a supply shed.

"Megan, is that you?"

"And exactly who is Megan, Sam Hall?"

Sam laughed as he met Laura's annoyed expression and raised his hands in fake surrender. He said, "It was a joke. A very bad one. There's no Megan, I swear."

"There better not be," she said. She ran her fingers up his arms, along his shoulders and neck, and into his hair, pulling his head to hers. She kissed him and said, "We had some unfinished business."

Sam nodded and ducked in for another kiss, but Laura stopped him. She stared at him, obviously waiting for him to say something, though he had no idea what to say - one of those side effects to kissing the girl of his dreams. So he offered up one of J.D.'s preferred sayings, "Uh...you complete me?"

Laura rolled her eyes and said, "We had been talking, Sam. About your need to blame yourself for everything." She brushed his hair back off his face and asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

He thought about it for a second and replied, "I think so."

"Because you did everything you could, Sam. Things happen for a reason."

"When did you start believing in things like fate?"

"Since I somehow walked away from that mess in New York City virtually unscathed," she paused, intertwining her hand with his and holding it up. "Since I managed to discover something beyond studying and getting into a good college that gets me through the day."

His smile grew broader at that comment. There was a time in his life when he thought he would never be this close to Laura, to hear those words outside of a dream, and despite all the bad, he couldn't stop smiling because he had her. If it made him a terrible person, so be it.

Easier said than done. Sam admitted, "Sometimes I feel...guilty...for being here when so many people aren't."

She squeezed his hand. "I know, but I think that's something everyone is grappling with. It's like when my cousin died. I was inconsolable for weeks and a small part of it was because I was still there. We were the same age, grew up in the same neighborhood, and she was the one hit by a car while we were playing."

"Jesus."

Laura forced a smile and said, "I'll never forget what my aunt said to me. She was grieving for her daughter, but she took time out to be there for me. She told me that whenever I felt guilty or sad, to do something good for someone else and remember that I was still there to change things for the better." She rested her forehead against Sam's and added, "It's better to honor the dead than to carry that sort of guilt around with us."

Sam nodded and said, "You're still pretty smart."

"Don't I know it?"

He chucked her chin and said, "We all know it, Laura. You make sure of that." She punched him in the stomach lightly and he groaned. He glanced up at the sun and said, "I guess we don't have much choice but to move forward. I know that, I do, and I'm happy to be alive and to have my friends with me...but there is so much loss and that won't go away overnight."

"It shouldn't go away. That doesn't mean we stop living or hoping. It's all we've got right now. Hope and each other. But I think it's enough. I mean, it got us through the storm, didn't it?"

Sam nodded. There was nothing else to say. It was weird to think how things had changed so drastically in the course of one month...and it was only the beginning. Who knew what tomorrow held for any of them? Except Sam was pretty sure it would be okay because, no matter what happened, he had people who loved him. He was alive, and sometimes, that was all anyone could ask for.

**--The End--**


End file.
